People seldom arrive at the decision to divorce in one clear moment. More often, the decision has been taking shape for months, while school runs continue, accounts are paid and the household carries on looking much as it did before. When the time comes to ask for advice, there may be a great deal to explain and very little certainty about where to begin.
The first conversation
You do not need to have every answer before consulting an attorney. The first consultation should establish your circumstances, the immediate difficulties and what you hope to achieve. It is also an opportunity to understand the likely process and costs before committing yourself to a particular course.
Documents to bring
Bring your marriage certificate and antenuptial contract, if you have one. Information about income, monthly expenses, property, debts and retirement funds will help. Where there are children, their birth certificates and details of their routines and expenses are useful. If some documents are unavailable, say so. An incomplete file should not prevent you from seeking advice.
Your matrimonial property regime
How you are married affects the financial consequences of divorce. A marriage in community of property requires a different assessment from one out of community of property, with or without accrual. An informal understanding that each person will simply keep what is in their name may overlook rights or liabilities that deserve careful consideration.
Arrangements for children
Where children are involved, arrangements must serve their best interests. Residence, contact and maintenance should be considered in the context of the child's daily life, rather than as separate bargaining points between adults. A proposal that appears convenient on paper must also work on a school morning.
Immediate concerns
Some matters require attention before the divorce can be finalised. There may be an immediate need for financial support, arrangements concerning children or protection from threatening conduct. Raise these concerns at the outset so that the appropriate interim remedies can be considered.
A practical way forward
Where possible, a divorce should be resolved through a fair and workable settlement. Reaching agreement can, however, be difficult where one spouse controls the finances or has greater influence within the relationship. A person who is financially dependent, emotionally exhausted or anxious to bring matters to an end may agree to terms without fully understanding their rights or the consequences. Independent legal advice can help you assess whether a proposed settlement makes proper provision for your circumstances. Even where agreement is reached, formal divorce proceedings remain necessary to obtain a decree of divorce.
Legal references
Divorce Act 70 of 1979 and amendments; Department of Justice divorce guidance.
General information on South African law as at 31 October 2026. Advice on a particular matter depends on its facts and the applicable law. This information does not create an attorney-client relationship.
